A Big Old Slice Of Humble Pie 🥧

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My last Thursday Three was on December 4th—that's right, my weekly newsletter hasn't been updated in over a month. Well, I certainly can't claim to be perfect, can I? And just for an extra dose of irony, my last post was about the "all or nothing mindset." 🤦🏻

Talk about a slice of humble pie. At the risk of sounding defensive, life has been rather busy: Christmas, a car breakdown (followed by its ultimate demise), car shopping, planning a house renovation, dealing with surveys, and getting a puppy. But hey, it's just life doing what it does best—as Forrest Gump would say, "s*** happens."

I've written before about how missing once happens, but twice becomes the start of a new habit. Well, I've definitely missed more than twice 🎯. So now what?

Part of me wants to bury my head in the sand and pretend this never happened. After all, who would notice or care if I never posted again? But there's that all-or-nothing thinking again...

Maybe nobody would notice, but that's not the point. I write to process my thoughts, improve my communication skills, and hopefully provide value to my readers.

It's time to practice what I preach. So here's a belated follow-up about dealing with "all or nothing thinking," written from the very trenches you might find yourself in.

First, there are no quick fixes or instant solutions—if there were, I wouldn't have spent this long building up to the point. Second, breaking free from "all or nothing thinking" takes time and practice, so don't expect perfection right away.

Now, let's get to the heart of the matter...

Explore the narrative behind the story - We all tell ourselves stories about what we see and experience; these narratives stem from our past experiences, values, and repeated thoughts. Here's a simple example: two people look out at the same rainy morning. One person sees it as "bad" because they'll get soaked walking to work. The other, a gardener, sees it as "good" because their plants need water after a hot summer (obviously, this isn't from the UK). Same weather, different story.

What story are you telling yourself about your goals? Why must you run three times per week or not at all? Take time to examine the layers of your thinking—what story have you repeated until it feels like truth? More importantly: how well is that story serving you?

If your current narrative were working, you wouldn't be reading this. By exploring the story behind your all-or-nothing belief, you can unpack and replace it. This is called reframing—catching yourself in that old narrative and choosing a new one.

The second part involves two interconnected elements: Learning to embrace imperfection and focusing on being good-enough. You might not recognize it as perfectionism, but that's exactly what it is. You believe you must follow a plan exactly, or it's worthless. Take my example: I must write weekly or I've failed. The tricky part is there's a grain of truth here (grain being key). Yes, I missed my target, but I've only truly failed if I give up entirely.

The metric isn't the mission. My mission is becoming a better communicator, improving my skills, and helping others. Writing weekly is just the metric. I can miss the metric without abandoning the mission.

Good-enough might sound like settling—who chooses adequacy over perfection? But being consistently good-enough beats being occasionally perfect. True greatness comes from sustained good-enough effort.

Think of it this way: would you prefer a car that reliably starts and drives decently, or one that offers a "perfect driving experience" but might not start at all? From recent expierence I know what I prefer...

If you struggle with "all or nothing" thinking, start by examining and reframing your internal narrative. Learn to let go of perfection and embrace being good-enough for the long haul.

P.S. Yes, this ran longer than my usal three minute read time, but I figured I had some catching up to do.

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P.S. If you enjoyed this week's Thursday Three, please share it with a friend.

Thanks,

Jamie