Breaking Free: All or Nothing Thinking 🧠

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All or Nothing thinking...that mentality where you're either diving in headfirst or sitting on the sidelines. It's like having an on/off switch for everything you do. This often leads to a rollercoaster pattern: you start something new with boundless enthusiasm, crush it at first, but then hit a bump in the road (as you inevitably will) and completely drop off. For folks with this mindset, if it's not perfect, why bother at all?

You only see two possible outcomes (good vs. bad, pass vs. fail, win vs. lose) without acknowledging anything in between.

Here's a story from the history books: Ever heard of the expression "burn your boats"? It comes from Hernán Cortés's journey to Mexico. When his crew was exhausted after their long voyage, he worried they wouldn't be motivated enough to survive in this new land. His solution? He ordered the ships scuttled on arrival—he burned the boats, leaving no choice but to succeed!

While it worked for him, we should note that we often hear these inspiring stories of explorers, athletes and entrepreneurs who went "all in"—but rarely hear from the hundreds of others who took the same leap and failed. This is known as survivorship bias—if ten people try but only one succeeds, that's the only voice we hear.

So what makes us fall into this way of thinking? Well, I've been pondering this, and while there's no simple answer, I'd like to share some interesting thoughts with you!

It's worked in the past - When I joined the Royal Marines Reserves, I jumped in with both feet. The training was incredibly challenging, and I told myself it was either earning that green beret or nothing at all.

But here's the thing—I had made it my absolute top priority. It wasn't just kind of important—it was THE most important thing and even then I got danger close to quitting!

Maybe you've had similar experiences where going all-in worked out! Think back to those times—how much did they mean to you? How much were you willing to give? What did you have to say no to? I bet you were totally committed!

But here's the catch: not all change is created equal. Going all in on anything in life requires serious dedication and sacrifice.

But not every change we want to make needs to be treated like a life-changing event. Maybe you want to get healthier, feel more confident in yourself, and lose a few pounds. The question is: how much are you willing to adjust your life for that to happen? And It's okay to say "just a little" or "a fair bit, but I've got other stuff to do too"—just make sure your approach matches your commitment level!.

Next up we have perfectionism - this pain-in-the-backside trait comes with some "fun" baggage—being overly critical of yourself, fear of failure, setting unrealistic standards, and, oddly enough, procrastination.

Picture this: you're planning to hit the gym three times this week, but work has been manic and suddenly it's Friday with no workouts done. Do you squeeze in that one session, or do you think "Why bother, I'll start again next week"?

Maybe three sessions that week was unrealistic? But you can't help holding yourself to that standard you set. Anything less feels pointless, so why not just wait until next week when things calm down?

You might not say it out loud, but the message is clear: "It's either perfect or it's pointless." — That perfectionism becomes the nagging voice holding you back.

Again, we see survivorship bias here too—where those perfectionist traits of setting high standards and being critical have worked in the past, so you keep repeating it.

From what I've seen and experienced, people who get stuck in "all or nothing" thinking aren't lazy or unmotivated they're often smart, hardworking people who find it difficult to give less than 100% effort. But here's the nasty question: How's that been working for you?

If it's working, great—crack on. But if you're stuck in this boom-bust cycle of all or nothing, it might be time to try something new. — Dare I say it to embrace a little imperfection.

Next week, we'll explore some strategies to break free from all-or-nothing thinking.

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P.S. If you enjoyed this week's Thursday Three, please share it with a friend.

Thanks,

Jamie